The minute I read your text I knew something was wrong – yet, it felt just right. I wasn’t sure when exactly I had thought about this moment, but I know I’ve been dreading the day this moment would come.
It wasn’t exactly your typical love story, if you can even call it that. It was a story of a girl (me), who fell in love with a boy (you) that’s already in love with someone else (specifically, her). You were eighteen, popular, and in love, which is probably the best feeling in the world before waking to up to the reality that is adult-ing. She was charming, funny, and confident – quirks of which I do not nor will I ever possess. She was the perfect chick to date and the perfect girl to become best friends with. She can never stay in one place, opting to go out and creating wonderful adventures that you thought only existed in books.
However, life has a funny way of raining on your parade. Who would have thought that everything you loved about her would one day be the reason of your unhappiness? Coming back to an empty apartment, a sense of panic rushed through your body. No clothes, no suitcases, and no her. She left without a trace… Well, only a note that says “I’m sorry.”
And, maybe, that’s why settled with me; the girl who’s the exact opposite of her. I’m not stupid, and I know that you aren’t either. You settled because you were afraid of ending up alone, and who would be the perfect girl to ease your fear? An awkward, shy, and lost girl who’s head over heels for you – me. You knew I wouldn’t leave you, I wouldn’t even if I wanted to. They say you turn to your addiction when you want to forget all the pain away, and I think, somehow, that’s true. You were the perfect drug for me and, no matter how cliche and contradicting it may be, I was addicted to the one that causes my misery.
It wasn’t as bad as it seemed. There were days where you fooled yourself thinking you loved me, and there were days I fooled myself into thinking you did – and for someone whose only wish is for you to stay, it was enough. But all the good things in life will come to an end, and ours took a longer time figuring out the right path.
And we’re here… our right path. The path that leads to our happily ever after; With you kneeling, holding out a simple yet beautiful diamond ring, and I, running away. You sighed with relief as you saw my shadow was nowhere near your sight. I always knew this day would come, and I’ve always pondered on the what ifs of our relationship – what if I say yes and we’ll be happy after all? As much as I want you stay forever, I couldn’t be selfish. I wanted you to find genuine happiness, even if that meant I was no longer a part of your life. I was willing to sacrifice my own happiness for yours, and that I did.
Dusting the invisible dirt on your pants, you looked around as a genuine smile crept on your face; a smile I haven’t seen since she left. It wasn’t your relief that shocked me, it was this unexplainable feeling that I’ve felt for the first time. As I place my hand on my chest, feeling the beat of my heart, I feel like I can become the person I was meant to be. And as I hear the engine of your car drifting farther and father away, I knew, we’re finally free.